A Kiss That Changed Everything: Embracing Chaos as a Catalyst for Growth

awakening reflection (blog post) Apr 14, 2023
Dr. Shuna Marr and her husband Ken, a happy couple, smiling in a photograph.

By Dr Shuna Marr

One day I kissed my boss just minutes after he'd fired me...

and it turned out to be the best thing I ever did..

It's 25 years since that day, which marked the beginning of my life journey with my second husband Ken.

Would you like me to tell you the story? Well here we go ...

The Unexpected Beginning

Ken was my boss at work at the time. I was the technical manager and he was the CEO of a little food factory.

It was an unlikely place to find either of us, to be honest, but this is where we were destined to meet.

Not long after graduating with my first degree (aged 37), I'd been sent by one of my former lecturers to do a hygiene audit, and through a series of serendipitous events I ended up being offered the post of technical manager.

The company went bust after a few months, but I was kept on.

From Colleagues to Friends

I met Ken took when he took a secondment from his business consultancy to come in as temporary CEO for 6 months, as part of the management buy-out team.

We worked as colleagues for 6 months and had become friends, but that had been the extent of our relationship until the day he had to make me redundant.

The Unforeseen Goodbye

In that meeting, as he told me the company was financially struggling and he'd have to let me go, we both suddenly realised that this meant we'd not see each other any more.

This was one of those pre-destined moments in our soul blueprints and our souls had thrown everything at it to make sure we recognised it.

Our guides must have been pushing our human selves as hard as they could to declare ourselves and share our first kiss.

And so we did..... Woooooowwwwwwwwwwww!!!

The Kiss That Changed It All

You know that way where your knees go weak… well, wobbly knees wasn’t in it. I couldn’t have stood up to save myself, such was the power of that kiss.

It literally felt like an atomic bomb had gone off in my head.

*Hear the sound of an explosion here*

And in that moment, I ‘knew’ – so one moment I had no idea about being in love with him and the next I was 100% certain that I had to be with him.

And of course, that immediately turned my entire life upside down.

A Life in Fast-Forward

Suddenly everything was rushing forward at 100 miles per hour, as my life began to change to incorporate this new reality.

My life fell apart and completely dismantled... ...within a month I had separated from my first husband, and Ken and I had set up home together.

I’d just lost my job (my boss had just sacked me, remember).

I’d left the marital home, so I’d lost my house.

I then discovered that all the people I thought were my friends were actually not and I had no support there.

Many members of my family didn't speak to me for years. They judged me, as did the minister of the local church who sent me a letter telling me to go back to my husband.

My life fell down around my ears, all the structures crumbling and collapsing.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

Of course, I now recognise that this intense driving force was what my higher self had planned, so that I would have the momentum to change my life onto a completely new direction.

It was a pretty intense experience, though, and if I hadn't been rock solid in that belief that the path I was taking was the right one, I would have given up.

But I trusted my intuition because it just felt so right, even though my ego mind doubted it all and was freaking out.


It was too small for me and not only offered me no further opportunities for expansion but was actively constraining me.

So that old structure had to be stripped away and anything that no longer served me had to go.

And that, apparently, was just about everything.

Starting Anew

I was being so untrue to myself, in that reality I’d created up to age 38, that I had to leave pretty much all of it behind.

Every way in which I had previously defined myself was stripped away because none of it was true to who I was or would be useful for my soul in the next stage of my journey.

I walked into my new life with Ken, shared custody of my kids, a car and a few sticks of furniture and that was it.

I had to rebuild my life from the ground up.

A Quarter Century Later

Twenty five years later it has proven to be the best thing I ever did.

I've grown and expanded exponentially.

I've now true friendships and better relationships.

I am living a life that is true to me with a man who is perfect for me in every way.

(The photo is of me and Ken on holiday April 2023).

So even though that time looked like a disaster and was incredibly painful to experience at the time, from hindsight, I see the perfection in having to go through that deconstructing to be able to rebuild a better life.

I now know that these experiences we go through are never to punish us, but always to offer us a chance to grow and expand from them.

The chaos is to shake things up to allow room for new things to grow.


PS If this has spoken to you - I  have a video (now been watched on YouTube >7.6k times) built around this story. It's called 'Why Awakening Sometimes Causes Our Life to Fall Apart"  Watch the video here.

Curious to dive deeper into your spiritual journey? Here are ways to work with us:

1. Explore our comprehensive range of 1:1 services designed to empower you on your path of spiritual awakening

2. Find community and support in our low cost membership Ascension Pathfinders Adventureland

3. Discover a wealth of transformational opportunities awaiting you on our  ‘Everything’ page, giving an overview of our range of courses, workshops and personalised coaching packages.