An Early Heart Space Room MeditationNov 27, 2019
This 'Awakening Chronicles' extract is from May 2017. Not long before this journal entry was written, I had learned about a very helpful tool called 'The Heart Space Room' meditation from the Perception Trainers YouTube channel. It involves going into a meditative state and going into my safe space, which is a room inside myself, where I can invite parts of myself into the room and have discussions.
It usually begins by feeling into the emotion you are experiencing, and drawing this out into a bubble to look at it, and then going on to meet the part or parts of you this relates to.
I use this tool now in many of my client sessions, as it's a really great way of interacting with parts of yourself that are usually cut off from your unconscious mind. It allows you to process emotions and have insights and realisations about what is going on deep inside.
In this Heart Space Room (HSR) session, I am exploring something that had been trying to draw itself to my conscious attention for days, through a repeating scene playing out in my head of me falling and hitting my face on the bath. At first, I repeatedly pushed the thought away, as it felt uncomfortable to look at. I felt it was 'wrong and bad and shouldn't be happening'. However, as it became more insistant, I finally took it inside to see what it was trying to tell me.
To give a little background context, this is not long after I had emerged from the bout of depression that was the catalyst for my awakening. The depression had been brought on by external events that were changing the world around me and which had caused me great anxiety.
This account explains a very early attempt at a HSR meditation for me, so it took me a while to get into it, but eventually it led me to some very interesting insights, as my 2017 self, who was journaling, will now explain...
Journal Entry: Saturday 6th May 2017
I had a very interesting heart space room experience this morning, although it took me a lot of perseverance to get it to reveal itself to me. For the past week or so, I have been constantly thinking about falling down the steps in the bathroom and hitting my face on the side of the bath and breaking my teeth.
The image replays and replays in my head. It reminds me of the thoughts I used to have when I had depression - inadvertently cutting myself with a knife, or falling under a train, or falling over the bannister - what I call my 'doom thoughts'.
I tried for a while to get the emotion to manifest and see how it felt in my body. I realised it was a very 'contracting' feeling, in that my chest felt like it was closing in on me. I eventually drew it out into a bubble, but really it was just an amorphous black cloud - no real substance or shape.
The symbolism was the 'black cloud of depression' that hangs over you when you are depressed, and certainly I closely link the 'doom thoughts' with depression, although the current one (breaking my teeth) is lighter and a bit less drastic than falling to my death either over a bannister or under a train.
I sent this black cloud love and asked it for more information - and it changed into a set of false teeth. Sheesh! That didn't seem like much help, so I decided to go to the table and invite in the part of me that this related to - and the door opened and I walked in, as an adult - but with no face or mouth.
At first I was confused, but then it struck me that the vision that kept repeating, of me and the sore mouth, and the false teeth, that if I took this mouth with the teeth and pressed it into the faceless me, it might be able to communicate.
So...yes that worked... and it turned out that this part of me is part of my hind brain, a more primal part of me that reacts to my thoughts and it felt constantly under threat. It was asking me to let it know when the threat was real or just going on in my head so that my body didn't constantly have to be running on adrenalin.
I realised that for the past 2 years I have been in constant resistance to my reality. First the changes at work and then with Brexit and Trump and all the other things that have struck me as being awful in the world. I have refused to acknowledge the reality and wanted it all to go away.
I recognised that being in resistance to reality, I have been hunkered down inside my beliefs and values, like a dog in his kennel, refusing to accept what has happened and characterising it as 'bad'. This resistance was pulling down my vibrational frequency and making me out of alignment with reality and my Higher Self.
The 'doom thoughts' were created to become a threat I could react to - flagging up that I was feeling threatened and make me aware of it.
I realise that I cannot change the outcome and I accept reality and that it is neither 'good' or 'bad'- it just 'is'. Work has changed and Brexit has been voted for and Trump is President - and me worrying about it will change absolutely nothing about what will transpire on the world stage.
I drew a 'Freedom' card from my Soul Oracle deck and recognised that I have freedom to choose how I react to these events.
If I think about it, I realise that the beliefs I have today might be quite different to those I have in 5 years time (and my views have changed a lot over time to the political events over the past 2 years, as my knowledge has changed and my circumstances evolved).
I have had a tendency to view things in black and white, rather than shades of grey. So if I think something is black and facts come to light that show/prove it's not black, then cognitive dissonance arises.
I don't have to accept that Brexit is going to be a success or is a good idea - but I DO have to accept that the vote is a reality, and me putting up resistance (internally) to it is not a good idea, as the only person it hurts is me - because being in resistance is not aligning with my higher truth and lowers my vibrational energy. Fighting reality makes us want to contract, to defend ourselves....
Ah... writing this made me realise that I was processing and referring back to the 'enlightened conversation' that I listened to yesterday, and was applying it to this situation. All the threads of recent times have been pulling together to this point to help me finally move from resistance to acceptance.
It is not the challenging situation that is making me feel bad - it is myself being in victim and judgmental mode that is contracting me that is making me feel bad. I can't quite get to 'how is this blessing me?' yet, but I reckon that realising I have a choice is a good start."
Journal Entry Ends
1. This HSR meditation helped me to shift from a place of resistance to what was going on around me, to a place of acceptance. It started me on the path to viewing things from a place of neutrality rather than from a polarised perspective. I didn't get there overnight, but it was the turning point.
2. It also gave me insight into my body and its needs. It helped me to reduce my anxiety. I recognised that my limbic brain only received information from what my mind told it. So if my mind was racing and feeling threatened, my body was on constant alert.
From that point on, if I felt anxious and it was just my mind, I'd say 'All is safe, all is calm' and my body would immediately relax. It started me on the path to eliminating the chronic anxiety I had suffered from a lot of my adult life.
3. Finally, journaling about the experience helped me to dive more deeply into the experience and continue to unpack the insights and revelations that were revealed inside the meditation. That's why it's important to journal, if you are doing it yourself, and why I always include a debrief afterwards, if I do a meditation in a session, because that is often when it pulls it all together. Oracle and tarot cards can also provide a key to gain some additional insights.
If you'd like to explore the Heart Space Room yourself - now you can.
We have created an online mini course, called: The Heart Space Room: A Journey in Inner Healing
Please click the link above or the picture below to find out more about this excellent tool.
Spiritual Awakening Support is here to help you on your awakening journey at whatever stage. Here are two free offerings that can help support you on your journey:
Read our EPIC blog post about 7 Stages of the Awakening Journey which outlines these 7 stages and has links to a huge variety of the resources we offer.
We would also draw your attention to our free workbook and video series called 10 Self Care Practices for Your Awakening Journey. Find out more by clicking here.